January 24, 2014 10:20 p.m.

RANDOM COMMANDS

read a crooked book

throw a wretched stone

know the marks of cults

gnaw on strangers' bones

laugh at awkward mantras

sleep on dirty sheets

wriggle like an earthworm

lather then repeat

wrestle with your conscience

chew on tootsie rolls

maintain a 3 point average

burn the dead sea scrolls

fix the country's problems

treat your neighbors rude

schnizzle on the dizzle

eat some bacon nude

mark your turf with pudding

let your parrot fly

make a 3 egg omelette

then eat it off your thigh

read some Lewis Carroll

build a swiss cheese tower

tie your undies in a knot

and take a golden shower

write on snotty tissue

let your dog be lazy

float on towards nirvana

convince your aunt you're crazy

change the course of hist'ry

land on both your feet

read the bible backwards

grab a stranger's teat

recognize your presence

call on Yoko Ono

dip your toes in choc'late

buy some land in Bono

lick your best friend's ice cream

raise the roof beam high

never trim your toenails

forget that you will die.

-From the book "Random Commands, A Well Hung man & Other Claptrap"

by Steven J. Athanas

Pray for the birds